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As I once again climb back on the blogwagon I am trying not to kick myself too hard in the backside. I've been sorting out some things in my head that meant staying away from the blog reading and blog writing because while I believe in emotional honesty and transparency in my work and in my blog, there are things going in my life the rest of the world doesn't need or want to hear about.

But I think I figured out a couple of important things and the rest, well I hope to figure it out as I go. We'll see. This Friday Five is inspired by things I've learned, or relearned, about myself recently.

1.  All the social media opportunities surrounding us today make it easy to reach out and connect with other people but the fact is, (IMHO) you never really totally change your core personality. If you're an introvert (like me) jumping in and out of the cocktail party chatter on Twitter is probably never going to feel completely comfortable, you will probably edit and reedit your Facebook status update a few times before actually posting and you will continue to occasionally stick your foot in your mouth, even if the conversation is virtual. I love social media. Love the idea of what it represents in global sharing and connecting. But what I am learning about myself is that social media conversations, whether on Facebook, blogs, Twitter, wherever - they all make me feel like I am back at school trying to prove that I belong somewhere. God I had so hoped I was past that but evidently not. In another lifetime perhaps, I hope to master the art of casual conversation. In this lifetime, I'd just like to accept that I am who I am.

2. You have to sow before you can reap. Seems pretty basic but I needed to be reminded of this. I think it's a class that ought to be taught in elementary school so it becomes an ingrained habit. Apply it to just about anything that isn't working in your life and see if it rings true. There are some fields I can't revisit and that makes me sad.

3. No one cares how much you beat yourself up because they're too busy beating themselves up so why not stop it already?

4. Thinking doesn't make it so. Work makes it so. Again, apply it to something that's not working in your life and see what you think.

5. Build a support system long before you need one so when you need one, they're there. Otherwise you're going to spend a lot alone wishing you had someone to talk to about stuff that was going on in your life.
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There are so many stories only you can tell.Tell them, please.


( 12 comments — Leave comment )
July 9th, 2010 10:30 pm (UTC)
Yes yes yes to all five of these. Seems like #2-5 are things we have to keep re-learning as we go.

#1 = SO true. FB, for all its plusses, feels like high school all over again.

We've missed you, but understand your need to sort things out for yourself.
July 10th, 2010 03:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Jama.

You'd think after a while some of these lessons would stick but not for me.

I was a mostly loner in high school, always on the fringe but never really a part of anything. I really hate having that feeling a permanent part of my life but I haven't yet found a way around it.
July 10th, 2010 12:50 am (UTC)
I agree with all of them, and totally hear you (and heart you, too :) Number 1 is my biggest hurdle. I'm an introvert who has to work so hard to reach out and talk to people, and if they slap me down, it's just that much harder. I step on my own tongue so often, it's Velcro-ed to the bottom of my shoe. But I've always appreciated your emotional honesty. You're an inspiration to me, always.
July 10th, 2010 03:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the hearting. :)

Re: #1 - I don't get slapped down as much as I feel invisible which is probably a result of #2 so I have no one to blame but myself.

If I want to matter I need to do something that matters but of course when I'm in a downward state it doesn't seem like anything I do matters.
July 10th, 2010 02:47 am (UTC)
1. Yes I actually learned that and it helped me a great deal, We can only ever be who we are nothing less and we can only ever be more if we choose to be. Explains my style of writing being the extrovert I am I just write whatever and worry about it later. No one knows me on the other side of the world anyway.

2. We all have fields in our life we never want to revisit, but I found out and only a short while ago that only by revisiting them and sorting them out to find out they can't hurt me anymore was I able to move on with the rest of my life. Reaping in the good and leaving behind the bad

3. Beating myself I gave that up as well because all the things I was beating myself up about suddenly didn't seem all that important. All it does is stops you from being able to move on with your life and enjoying what lies ahead.

4. Thinking does not make anything happen. Doing is the only way things get done. You can think about what you are going to do and do it but otherwise if you don't you just move on to the next thing. I have wasted so much of my life thinking about the things that don't matter instead of getting on with the things that do.

5. I actually have a support system right now because now is when I need it. I call them my guardian angels, 3 of the nicest people you would want to know all playing their part to keep me together and help mold me into the person I am today they are just so fantastic and I wish everyone was able to experience the same transformation as me and the world would be a better place for it.

so there it is my interpretation of your 5 things as I see them being the extrovert I am.
The main thing I have learned about myself over the last couple of weeks thanks to the horses is that my life is too rushed and I consciously keep telling myself to slow down to regain my inner peace. Don't hurry, don't worry.

- Anne McKenna

July 10th, 2010 03:41 pm (UTC)
I am so glad you have a support system now, Anne. You have learned so much over the years and come so far, you need to give yourself credit.
July 10th, 2010 05:35 am (UTC)
I am really laid back about a lot of things, but you know what I am discovering by having Mom and Cam with me all the time (especially on this road trip)???

I need to be in control. I don't completely freak out over those things I can't control, but I really don't like not having control over situations I feel shoulder be under my purvey.

Guess what else I am learning? Having a 6 year old and a 72 year old with me all the time, depending on me, is very stressful and brings with it a lot of things I can't control.

This is not my happy place.
July 10th, 2010 03:39 pm (UTC)
Oh dear...good to learn more about yourself but a rough spot to be in. Big hugs. We'll need to get together again when you get back.
July 10th, 2010 01:44 pm (UTC)
You have my e-mail address if you need to use it, Susan. You are not without personal resources and if you need an outside ear, Damon and I are both still here.

Hope it's not as bad as last time. I don't think it can be - you're starting so far ahead of where you were. And you know your own strength better. XXOO
July 10th, 2010 03:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you. No, it's not anywhere near as bad as last time but it scared me a little just the same. And thanks for letting me know I can still reach out to you and Damon. You two have seen me at my absolute lowest and it means a lot to know I can still talk to you.
July 10th, 2010 04:54 pm (UTC)
Susan, just sending a hug, a cheer, and an "I know what you mean" your way. Also a big helping of belief.
July 12th, 2010 06:37 am (UTC)
Thank you, Jeannine! I always appreciate your hugs and support.
( 12 comments — Leave comment )

Who am I?I was born on the Cancer/Leo cusp and share a birthday with Ernest Hemingway and Robin Williams. The similarities don't stop there as I can go from depressed to ecstatic without ever passing go. I feel scared most of the time though my friends call me brave and I find it easier to believe in my friends than to believe in my own abilities to make what I want out of my life.

Who am I? A wife, a mother, a daughter, and even, gulp, a grandmother.

Who am I? A writer who never gets tired of playing with words, even when the words are hard to find. A writer of books for children and articles for grown-ups and many things in-between.

Who am I? A motivational speaker, writing instructor, workshop leader and full-time follower of dreams.

Who am I? Read and find out.

Susan Taylor Brown

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