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  • April 17th, 2010 | 3:12 AM
30 Poems in 30 Days - NO FORWARDING ADDRESS

My personal challenge for National Poetry Month is to write
a poem a day about the father I have never known.


I don't remember the story very well,
I don't even know if it was real,
maybe it was one of the ones I made up and told
so many times, that it became real to me.
In the story
someone came to the front door of my grandmother's house,
asking if I was home,
asking to see me,
and my mom told my grandmother
to keep me in the kitchen
hidden from view.

That story got mixed up in my mind
with one I know was true,
the one my mother told me happened before I was born,
the one where men came to the front door of my grandmother's house,
asking for my father
and my mother saying
he wasn't there,
he was gone,
and she didn't know where.

That's what she told
those important men in suits
who needed to find my father,
needed to find him fast,
because of something he had done wrong.

All she had to give them was a list
of the people they invited to their wedding
less than a year before,
the only record she had, names and addresses of
my father's friends, my father's family
his mother, my grandmother
his sister, my aunt
his family, my family.

By the time I was old enough
to ask important questions
it was too late,
she couldn't remember where anyone lived
where he might have gone
and my father,
his family
my family,
was nowhere to be found.

@copyright Susan Taylor Brown 2010
    All Rights Reserved
There are so many stories only you can tell.Tell them, please.


( 12 comments — Leave comment )
April 17th, 2010 11:19 am (UTC)
Such a sad story, like a whole family just gone from your life just like that. I bet as well with all these thoughts and stories that you have you went over in your mind a million times what you would say if ever he came back for you. Sadly as we know now you will never get the chance to find out to get the answers to that all important question. The same one that is on the top of everyone's list when something goes wrong or is not quite right in their lives.

The one I ask myself everyday and I never get any answers either, WHY??

Some questions sadly don't have answers no matter how much we want them to. Acceptance is what we have to go after next and that also is not such an easy thing to do either. Well I have not found a way yet. One day yes one day I may find acceptance. Then I may finally be at peace with myself.

- Anne McKenna

April 18th, 2010 07:04 am (UTC)
Acceptance is a hard-won gift but it's worth the struggle.
April 17th, 2010 01:10 pm (UTC)
This one is lovely, Susan. It hurts me (our tales are similar) so you know it works.
April 18th, 2010 07:03 am (UTC)
Thank you, Candice. I'm sorry it hurts but I'm glad to know that it works.
(Deleted comment)
April 18th, 2010 07:02 am (UTC)
Memories are always fluid and of course, each of us bring something different into the picture.
(Deleted comment)
April 18th, 2010 07:01 am (UTC)
Thank you. I think that's been the way for a lot of people. They aren't always easy to read (or write) but I can feel people are reading along with me. And every so often I get a post like this or an email that lets me know.
April 18th, 2010 06:47 am (UTC)
I was waiting to see when this one would unfold. We really need to sit down over coffee or something with my laptop and your notes.
April 18th, 2010 06:49 am (UTC)
We do indeed.
April 18th, 2010 08:14 pm (UTC)
The more of these I read, the more I believe this is a book--a chapbook at the very least, and possibly more. These are powerful, Susan.
April 24th, 2010 07:00 am (UTC)
Thank you. (sorry for the delay in replying. I thought I was caught up.)

I do hope they will be a book. I'm not sure if it is a verse novel or a chapbook/collection.
April 22nd, 2010 05:17 pm (UTC)
tanita says:
I have stories like this, too -- ones I've muddied with stories I've read, and with stories that have been told to me about others.

I'm sorry they're gone. You'd think that in this day and age, we could find anyone -- but I know how well some lines in our lives are erased.

April 24th, 2010 07:01 am (UTC)
Re: tanita says:
It's weird how all these stories get mixed up in our minds and then it's hard to sort out what is real and what is make-believe.
( 12 comments — Leave comment )

Who am I?I was born on the Cancer/Leo cusp and share a birthday with Ernest Hemingway and Robin Williams. The similarities don't stop there as I can go from depressed to ecstatic without ever passing go. I feel scared most of the time though my friends call me brave and I find it easier to believe in my friends than to believe in my own abilities to make what I want out of my life.

Who am I? A wife, a mother, a daughter, and even, gulp, a grandmother.

Who am I? A writer who never gets tired of playing with words, even when the words are hard to find. A writer of books for children and articles for grown-ups and many things in-between.

Who am I? A motivational speaker, writing instructor, workshop leader and full-time follower of dreams.

Who am I? Read and find out.

Susan Taylor Brown

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