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  • February 20th, 2009 | 10:56 AM
Poetry Friday - The Love Song of Wolfgang Puck

Eileen Tse, aka hulabunny</lj> , posted this last month but I didn't think it got the attention it should have so I am, with her permission, reposted it for Poetry Friday. For your reading pleasure I present a parody of T.S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"  (click here if you want to read the original first.)

The Love Song of Wolfgang Puck
(with apologies to T.S. Eliot)

by Eileen Tse

Mettez une tasse de farine dans la sucre.  Ajoutez
une petite cuillere de vanille et deux oeufs, frappe.
Melangez bien.  Enfin, ajoutez une demie tasse de
chocolat amer.  Frappez avec un CuisinArt. (1)

Let us go then, you and I,
When the neon stretches out across the sky
Like a turkey laid upon a carving board;
Let us go, through certain over-crowded dining halls,
The shopping malls
Full of rundown Dairy Queens and Taco Bells
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Aromas that smell of a hearty bouillabaisse
Waft down alleyways
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Do not ask, "That scent!  Oh, what is it?"
Let us go and make our visit.

The women dine on macaroni
Talking of Caffe Borrone.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellowtail that lies atop a bed of rice,
Garnished with pickled ginger on the side;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a luncheon to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to cook and bake,
And time for all the types and sorts of gadgets
That frost and decorate your cake;
Time for fish and time for veal,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of the mid-day meal.

The women dine on jumbalaya
Talking of La Pastaia.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Tuna ahi?" and "Quiche Lorraine?"
Time to take the pasta out to drain,
With the sauce just a little bit too plain -
[They will say: "My, but her recipe is faulty!"]
My salad dish, croutons seasoned but not too salty,
My chowder rich and creamy, accented with a hint of poultry -
[They will say: "But how her food is paltry!"]
Do I dare
Disturb the cheese souffle?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which in a minute can go either way.

For I have known these meals already, known them well:
Have known the dinners, breakfasts, lunches,
I have measured out my life by weekend brunches;
I know the scallops steaming in the half-shell
Beneath the herbs and spices from the Indies West.
So how should I digest?

I should have baked the king crab's claws
Scuttling across the floors of Lucky's.

No!  I am not Julia Child, nor was meant to be;
I am an amateur chef, one that will do
To grill a lamb chop, toss a salad or two....

I grow full... I grow full...
I shall unzip my trousers to let my belly roll.

Shall I indulge in dessert?  Do I dare eat a peach?
I shall try the white chocolate mousse, then work it off at Reach.
I have heard the waitresses singing, "Tip us!  Tip us each!"

We have lingered in the chambers of the feast
By bus-boys clad in aprons red and brown
Till indigestion shakes us, and we drown.

(1) This recipe is from Better Homes and Gardens, which features various dessert recipes.  This is taken from the recipe for Nuages au Chocolat, a fluffy chocolate dessert not unlike a chocolate souffle.   "Put one cup of flour in the sugar.  Add a teaspoon of vanilla and two eggs, beaten.  Then, add a half cup of bittersweet chocolate.  Beat in a CuisinArt."

Eileen's original post on the poem can be found here.

The roundup today is at The Holly and the Ivy
There are so many stories only you can tell.Tell them, please.


( 18 comments — Leave comment )
February 20th, 2009 07:25 am (UTC)
The Love Song of Wolfgang Puck
Very funny! I'd have to see the poem with this, but I think she captured the true essence of this very depressing poem and added her own touch. Very clever!

February 22nd, 2009 06:14 pm (UTC)
Re: The Love Song of Wolfgang Puck
thanks for reading, Barbara!
February 20th, 2009 09:19 am (UTC)
Tanita Says :)
This is amusing. I worry the most about the line "I have known these meals well." Oh, yes... too well...! I grow full! I grow full! Let's not even talk about my belly roll...
February 22nd, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Tanita Says :)
Oh yes, I have known many meals all too well! LOL
February 20th, 2009 09:54 am (UTC)
Oh, this is deliciously funny. I was smiling from the epigraph onward.
February 20th, 2009 12:52 pm (UTC)
Mmmmm, mousse. This is too funny!
February 22nd, 2009 06:24 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
February 22nd, 2009 06:27 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it!
February 20th, 2009 01:42 pm (UTC)
from Laura at Author Amok
Thanks for making me giggle. I loved "Do I dare disturb the cheese souffle." Parodies rock.
February 20th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
Any poem that talks about the wonders of food is fine by me! :0)
Kelly Polark
February 22nd, 2009 07:22 pm (UTC)
LOL I have to agree.
February 20th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC)
This one gets me where I live. Thanks for the laugh today :D.
February 22nd, 2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
You're welcome. It gets me right about gut level. ;)
February 20th, 2009 04:48 pm (UTC)

Jet (one of The Write Sisters)
February 20th, 2009 06:01 pm (UTC)
Oh, funny funny. I latched on to these lines (I am a miserable cook):

Time to take the pasta out to drain,
With the sauce just a little bit too plain -

Thanks for sharing this!
February 22nd, 2009 07:28 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by.
February 21st, 2009 10:47 am (UTC)
Ambitious. It works. Thanks for the read.
February 22nd, 2009 07:28 pm (UTC)
It was a ton of work, wasn't it? Thanks for stopping by.
( 18 comments — Leave comment )

Who am I?I was born on the Cancer/Leo cusp and share a birthday with Ernest Hemingway and Robin Williams. The similarities don't stop there as I can go from depressed to ecstatic without ever passing go. I feel scared most of the time though my friends call me brave and I find it easier to believe in my friends than to believe in my own abilities to make what I want out of my life.

Who am I? A wife, a mother, a daughter, and even, gulp, a grandmother.

Who am I? A writer who never gets tired of playing with words, even when the words are hard to find. A writer of books for children and articles for grown-ups and many things in-between.

Who am I? A motivational speaker, writing instructor, workshop leader and full-time follower of dreams.

Who am I? Read and find out.

Susan Taylor Brown

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