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Oh boy. Most people have a dream that recurs when they are under stress or in a particular situation. Mine is being lost at school, not being able to find my class, nor my locker, missing my homework, etc. And it is always my math class. I had that dream last night. Sigh. And I have no trouble figuring out why.

Math class. No homework. No locker. Can't remember the teacher's name and I can't find the room. It's about numbers, or more specifically, money. Sigh.

Yesterday the guy that is doing a lot of our window coverings put up the outside blinds. I came home to them being done, not even knowing they were ready.

Back story here a bit. Our library and my office both have angular windows that are hard to fit. Here are some of the ones in my office and if you look through the French doors you can see the same ones in the library. Well as you can imagine, the sun is pretty strong in there.

We have new double-pane windows but still, the glare is bad. In my office it shines right on my monitor and in the library it shines right on the TV which is placed across the room from the windows. When we first moved in we thought about putting shutters up there (there are plantation shutters in the library on another window you can't see) but the cost to do both sets of windows was going to be <gulp> $6K. Since we had just spent $12K on the double-pane windows we decided to hold off for a while. Then the window covering guy said he had figured out a way to use the outdoor cheap blinds and have them cut and roll DOWN instead of up so we could to them outside. We figured "cool" and that it would be an inexpensive solution we could live with for a few years until we decided to spend the money on the shutters. 

Another back story, the window guy just ordered $3K worth of woven woods for the two patio doors and the other big window in my office so there's been a lot of money exchanging hands to "pretty things up" and mostly for me, and I always have a hard time with that.

So yesterday I go home from work and as soon as I walk in the the house I notice the outside blinds are up. And they look, so-so. Okay, I knew it wasn't going to be great but I figured I could live with it. Then I got closer and there were holes already in the blinds. Holes that are a result of the inexpensive blinds. Holes that can't be fixed and make the two most dramatic rooms in the house look horrible. Absolutely horrible.

Window cover guy wants to get paid for the inexpensive solution. My bad here. This was one of those things that sort of evolved over the past year without (gulp) a written estimate. I was expecting about $500. He was expecting $1,000. YIKES! $1,000 for something I can't stand to look at????

Window cover guy is now ordering shutters for both sets of windows, at his cost and I am dreaming about math class. Which means I feel really rotten about spending that much money to make things "pretty" (okay, and reduce the glare.)


Thing is, I have no trouble at all spending money on my kids when they need. And while right now I would have rather spent the money getting started (at last) on the landscaping, at least we have the money to spend.

So why do I feel so bad?

There are so many stories only you can tell.Tell them, please.


( 12 comments — Leave comment )
March 20th, 2008 02:54 pm (UTC)
Too distracted by the pic of your GORGEGOUS office/library to comment on anything else! ;)
March 20th, 2008 03:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I was looking for the really good pictures of the library but I guess I don't have them online anywhere.

I hope it's not going to be a mistake to put the shutters up there. Grr. I love the look of the open window but that glare...
March 20th, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC)
If it's any consolation, I just had my deck rebuilt by a contractor I'd hired for several jobs over the years and we had a misunderstanding because we had a verbal agreement. I won't do that again.

(That room is gorgeous!)
March 21st, 2008 02:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm sorry for your mess but it does make me feel better. Misery loving company and all that. :-)
(Deleted comment)
March 21st, 2008 02:43 pm (UTC)
I know. The light stinks for about 3 hours every day in each room. It just doesn't make sense to have two of the most important rooms in the house be ones that we can't use for several hours each day (of prime time.)
March 20th, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC)
I love, love, LOVE those rooms! That's my dream for my next house (well, my real house--we've been living in shanty base housing for the past seven years.) I love your library. And I think shutters are a good investment. Sorry about the convoluted journey it took to get them.
March 21st, 2008 04:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Pamm. I hope I'm still able to get them. (Today's post mentions a glitch in the process.)

I hope you get your dream room sometime soon.
March 20th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
You feel guilty for the same reason I do when I go on Amazon and find the perfect book I know I need for my writing research and see the price and still, swallowing deeply, click to put it in my shopping cart.

Something lets us think we don't deserve to treat ourselves well. Or treat our writing seriously. I don't know if it has to do with being women or writers, or maybe women writers?!

We just have to remember we and our writing are important. You've read Virginia Woolf's A Room of Her Own (one's own?), yes? This is YOUR ROOM. Make it what you need.
March 21st, 2008 04:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Becky. It's so hard. I should go reread A Room of Her Own. Thanks for the reminder.
March 21st, 2008 02:14 am (UTC)
Oh, what a lovely space!
March 21st, 2008 04:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you! We enjoy it.
( 12 comments — Leave comment )

Who am I?I was born on the Cancer/Leo cusp and share a birthday with Ernest Hemingway and Robin Williams. The similarities don't stop there as I can go from depressed to ecstatic without ever passing go. I feel scared most of the time though my friends call me brave and I find it easier to believe in my friends than to believe in my own abilities to make what I want out of my life.

Who am I? A wife, a mother, a daughter, and even, gulp, a grandmother.

Who am I? A writer who never gets tired of playing with words, even when the words are hard to find. A writer of books for children and articles for grown-ups and many things in-between.

Who am I? A motivational speaker, writing instructor, workshop leader and full-time follower of dreams.

Who am I? Read and find out.

Susan Taylor Brown

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